Words Inside The Silence

“I lay next to her, knowing I should tell her what I needed to say, but choosing silence instead. I wanted to tell her I loved her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and make things right. Instead, I turned my back, feeling the void between us grow a little bit more.”

“I want to tell him how much I miss him. How much I need him to just hold me when he comes home, or to kiss me without it being about sex. I just don’t know how to talk to him anymore. I feel so alone and lost”

While it feels dramatic (hello, writers shall write!) it is a pretty accurate description of what happens to couples when they choose to ignore issues and try to “keep the peace” at any cost. 

Silence, my friends, can also shout. It is often the things we do not say that widens the gap between us till we may as well charge admission for the Canyon that has grown.

Love is not a passive word. It’s active. It means talking, acting, showing, every single day. It is a conscious effort to acknowledge the good and work through the bad. To say “I Love You” is to say, “I will listen as much as I speak. I will hold you when you cry, kiss you till you forget why you were mad. I will apologize when I’m wrong, and I will forgive you when you are too.”

Love is teamwork, compromise, a desire to learn from each other and grow. To love someone is the best kind of vulnerable. It is to give another person your heart, the “caution, handle with care sticker” clearly defined, knowing that they trust you as much as you trust them to hold it with the utmost of care.

We spend so much time trying not to cause “waves” that we don’t realize that beneath the surface, a whirlpool has begun. All the things we do not say, swirl and swirl around us, till one day we realize we are caught inside a current, hoping we don’t drown.  Perhaps it a toothpaste cap left off, or a sink full of dishes after a night out… All of the sudden you are arguing, fighting, yelling and screaming over everything and nothing all at once. 

You can fix this though. You can make sure it doesn’t get to that point. Have the tough conversations when they need to be had. Even if it’s not comfortable, even if, in the moment it hurts. Then come up with a plan to fix the specific issue at hand. Set a goal and work together as a team. Otherwise, let’s be honest, what’s the fucking point? If you push enough shit down the drain it will eventually back up. 

Do you want the key to fixing it? The secret that will make things right?….

Once you talk, once you come to a decision, and have listened as much as you’ve been heard….Kiss and make the fuck up! Don’t take away your affection, don’t take away your touch. It is by far the biggest mistake couples can make. If your partner says“I’m sorry”, and you say “I forgive” then do just that. You cannot say I accept your apology then leave your partner shivering in the cold.

Physical touch is a vital part of a relationship. It helps you reconnect with your partner by exchanging bonding hormones that help you to stay connected. Every time you withdraw your affection from your partner during times of anger or sadness, you are basically putting them out in the cold. Do it enough, and you’ll both end up with frost bite! 

You may fight, it happens to the best of us. It is what you do after though that counts. Kiss him; hold her; don’t let the other forget why you fell in love to begin with. Disagreements will happen. It’s human nature. If you can’t work through it though, then listen to your Auntie when she tells you that you are already halfway out that door. 

Inside the silence, you can hear a shout. It is the echo of all the things you need to say but leave for another day. A moment of discomfort that leads to growth and understanding or another night left mute, desperate to be heard. Insecurity, anger, resentment, fear, they all stem from a partner not feeling heard, not feeling respected, or seen. 

Who we fall in love with is sometimes not so black and white, it can sneak up on us in a moment without us realizing what has happened. Who we stay in love with, well, that is always our choice.

Oh No He Didn’t…

So you’ve had a great night. You and your fella are steaming things up and before you know it clothes are off and so are you. You’re hot, bothered, ready to explode, and then, well, you do. He, however, has not.

He gets you off again, your legs have become jelly, your limbs are weak. Then what the fuck, he rolls over, says goodnight and falls asleep! As you lay in the bed, thoroughly satisfied between the legs, your brain is total wreck. “Did he not like it?” “Did I do something wrong?” “Maybe it’s me”….’

DOES THIS SCENARIO SOUND AT ALL FAMILIAR? IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 35, THEN CHANCES ARE YES.

Nature is bit of a cruel bitch it seems. While men reach their sexual peak in their late teens and early twenties, for women, the real peak is somewhere in their mid thirties to early forties. Our bodies respond differently, our desires become more realistic as we gain the wisdom of what it takes to get us off.

Years of conditioning with partners in our teens or twenties condition us to think that the man must always cum! It gets ingrained in our reality of what sex means. The truth, however, is a little more complex.

A man in his twenties can have a refractory period that is far less than a man in his forties. He may have a great time, rest for 10 minutes, feel a strong wind, then hey there, hi there, he’s ready to go. As he ages, though, the time between erections can take longer, and, if you are lucky, he is someone who is unselfish enough to be able to focus on something other than himself.

I have been with partners, who have given me multiple orgasms over the course of a night, then fallen blissfully asleep next to me, with nary one for them in sight. The first time it happened, I panicked, the second time, I thought, “Well ok then…this is alllllriiight”. 

So ladies, the next time he doesn’t get off, don’t get off with worry over it. Chances are, he is enjoying your pleasure, and watching you have a great time. 

If, however, your partner is struggling with maintaining his erection or cannot achieve an orgasm no matter how hard you both try, then perhaps ruling out some physical issues with a doctor might be something to consider. 

Remember, no matter what, communication is the key! If you really want him to leap over that edge with you, don’t be afraid to whisper it in his ear. “I want you to cum inside me so I can smell you in my skin” ain’t a bad way to give it a shot! 😉

Now get out there and have some fun! Practice makes perfect and if you have to have sex, two or three or half a dozen times where the attention is on you and you alone, then go for it sista…enjoy that Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh….lala…oh

Sat. Morning Coffee

Clarissa turns on her side, sliding her arm over the man sleeping peacefully by her side. Her leg curls over his hip as her arms enfold his chest. She listens to the steady beating of his heart as she gently circles her fingertips across neck.

He stirs, turning over to face her, his lips a magnet that pull her into him. Without conscious thought they move as one, his body covering hers as her legs wrap around his waist.

Her skin is slick with his sweat, her breath shallow and fast. Her body is the circuit, his the current and together a new Universe unfolds.

In the midst of her third orgasm of the morning, the bedroom opens and they turn their heads in sync. Her husband stands in the doorway, a towel snug around his hips, water droplets from the shower clinging to his muscular chest.

His eyes gleam as he takes in the site of her wrapped around another mans body, his cock raising the fabric it rests under. In two quick steps he is by her side, towel on the floor, his hands on her breasts.

She was overtaken by the moment, finding it hard to breathe as these two beautiful creatures claimed her body and senses. A moan escapes her lips as she is pulled to sitting then on her knees, forcing himself between her eager thighs.

Grabbing her hair he forces her head up, commands she open her mouth to receive her lovers gift.

She wonders momentarily if one can die from sheer pleasure, overcome with so many sensations that she feared she might. Over and over her senses were assaulted and her brain overwhelmed with chemicals that rewarded her from fingers to toes.

Her husband gave one final thrust and released himself inside her, his body removed, the ghost of his fingers in her flesh. He casually grabbed his towel from the floor, swinging it over his shoulder as she admired his retreating back.

She turned her attention back to her lover, a smile on her lips. Leaning in to kiss him she shuddered as goosebumps erupted onto her skin. They picked up where they had stopped, his cock and eager puppy ready to play once more.

As he entered her she dove into the whirlpool of desire created by his presence. Gave in to her need for him. She had not expected this primal reaction to him. The way she craved him, a junkie in need of a fix. Her body spoke to his in the place that words could not.

Her hazel eyes stared into his, the color of caramel and the summer sun. Her heart fluttered inside her chest as her nails branded his skin. Together they found their way to the cliff and leaped head first into orgasmic bliss. They lay there for a moment, bodies tangled like a ball of string.

“Coffees ready,” her husband said from the kitchen as the smell of bacon began to fill the air. They took their time in dressing, the pull of each other and the warmth of the bed, a seductive mistress hard too resist.

Making their way into the kitchen they gathered round the kitchen table, sharing a meal before they parted ways.

Clarissa smiled, sipping her coffee and looking at the two men in her life.

Two hands, one light, one dark, reached for hers, each completely different, both fitting like gloves.

She walked her lover to the door, savoring the taste of him on her lips. Her body beginning the process of missing him till they next met.

She closed the door behind her and walked back towards the kitchen, standing on tiptoe to kiss her husbands scruffy cheek.

Some people spend a lifetime to experience this once, lucky woman that she was, she had found it twice.

Consumed

It started in her toes then spread throughout, a spark ignited, a wildfire consuming her soul. His lips the match, her body gasoline, every moment she had with him, he consumed her body, set her ablaze with a touch. 

His damaged soul, tattered like her own, encircled hers, and together they filled their wounds, sealing their cracks inside desire and want.

He left her unbalanced, uncertain and unsure. Such a fine line, she thought, between love and lust, keeping hope and giving up.

3 simple words to seal her fate, her heart and ears waited for him to speak.

A girl on fire, she needed a release, she needed to know he was there. She lay her head down, his face in her mind, his kiss an echo on her lips. She hoped he would see her before it was too late and she turned into ash at his feet.

The Writer

Trina couldn’t sleep. It happened like this sometimes. Insomnia reared it’s ugly head, a Medusa come to life.

He had gone to sleep hours ago, used to her nocturnal wandering throughout their cozy home.

“Perils of dating a writer”, she often joked and he would simply nod his head.

She wrote for a few hours, enjoying the silence of the house. Her characters slipping from brain to keyboard, freeing up space in her way too busy mind.

She sat in her living room, soft jazz on her radio, a glass of wine in hand, absently twisting the crystal stem as she thought how to resolve her latest chapter.

A few minutes passed, then a few more and she decided to call it a night. She loosened her hair from its customary bun, feeling the weight of auburn locks as the streamed from their captor to the small of her back.

He always loved when she wore her hair down but then again he was a guy! She chuckled at the thought of him with a head of hair like hers, he too would wear it up all the time.

On slippered feet she went to the kitchen poured a cold glass of water from the tap. Her dog followed by her side, accustomed to the strange hours her mother kept.

Slipping inside the sheets, she listened to his breathing, laying her hand on his muscular chest. A sensation of warmth spread from her fingers as she made contact with his skin.

She turned on her side, her old flannel shirt rising above her waist when she felt a strong pair of arms pull her close, holding her tight.

“Cheeky man”, she thought, “not so sound asleep as I thought”

She leaned into his embrace, her stomach flooding with butterflies as his lips found her neck.

She turned to face him, her hands caressing the rough stubble on his cheek. Even in the pitch black of a moonless night she knew every outline of his face.

His eyes, not quite green from the flecks of gold reminded her of foreign jewels that shimmered when he laughed.

His lips, the ones currently on her ear lobe had some strange magic to them, able to shoot electric sparks into her skin.

She felt his erection against her back and pressed herself closer, fighting the desire to purr like a cat.

His hands fumbled with her shirt as he lifted it off her head, his mouth found eager breasts.

Clothing was shed in rapid succession, his shirt, her panties, his sweats.

Soon nothing was between them, a thin sheet over their waists and her legs parted like a flower inviting him in.

Their hips moved in unison as he thrust himself inside her, their need grew into an avalanche.

Her first orgasm shook her to her core, she tried to catch her breath. She dug her nails into his back as she cried out his name, desperate for another release.

He joined her that time, spilling himself inside her, marking her body and skin.

He kissed her softly as the untangled their limbs. “I love you” he told her as they drifted into their dreams.

She felt her eyes begin to close, her stories for the moment content to sleep.

She turned into him and wrapped her leg around his waist, finally falling to sleep.

A new day would come before they knew, another chapter waiting for her to write. Of all the stories she could ever tell, though, it was what they shared, what he made her feel; that she wished to write the rest of her life.

You

You found me when I was lost. Your acted as my guide.
You held me when I fell, put me back on my feet.
You filled the cracks inside my soul with the superglue of your love.
You are my shelter in the storm, my rainbow when it leaves.
You make me smile till it hurts and hold me when I cry.
I had all these missing pieces, found that yours filled the space.
I was asleep until we met, today I am awake.
I never knew I needed you, until the day I did.
I never understood what love was until I let you in.
You took this broken wing of mine,
You gave me time to heal.
I never knew what love was.
Until I saw me, through you.

 

Wicked Games

We sit in the living room, a music video playing on the tv. I sip my wine and feel the liquid warmth spread through my veins leaving me as light and airy as a balloon on a summers breeze.

He tugs at my hand and pulls me towards him, thick, hungry lips seeking mine.

With a swift movement he pushes me onto my knees before him his hands holding my shoulders as his hips raise towards my face.

“Put my cock in your mouth” he commands and eagerly I comply. My fingers yank and tug at his drawstring, then pull impatiently at his boxers. I grasp him and draw down my mouth, my tongue tasting him then taking him in.

He grabs his phone and the flash momentarily blinds me, as he snaps pic after pic. I look up at him with large doe eyes, my jaw struggling to to open wide enough to accommodate him.

He stares into my eyes as I suck his cock then tells me to rise.

I follow him to the bedroom and he throws me onto our bed. There will be no “love making” tonight, only pure, raw animal sex.

He grabs my pajama bottoms and yanks them down then thrusts himself inside me, my legs snaking around his waist.

“Who do you own?” I whisper to him, nails leaving streaks of red down his back.

“You” he half growl, half says then his teeth sink into my neck.

He pulls me and moves me like a rag doll, powerless beneath strong hands.

He slips into my ass, then slips his fingers inside my sex, I push the vibrator on to my clit. My orgasm takes me in every direction and I am shaking as I try to catch my breathe. We lay for a moment before he’s at it again, throwing me onto his chest.

He is a glove, my body the fingers and I begin to rock my hips. My hair is pulled back and he thrusts harder his other hand finding my neck. As he squeezes he asks me “Whose body is this? Whose orgasm do I control?”

“Mine” I tell him, as I give into the sensation words pouring from breathless lips.

Over and over I spasm, stifling my cries from feelings almost too intense.

He brings me to the edge then back again a cruel yet wickedly delicious game. He is the puppeteer and I his marionette giving in to the pull of my strings.

I follow his lead into the stratosphere, feel the Earth melt away. It here I lose then find myself, aware of every cell firing like machine guns under my skin.

Later, as we lay in a heap of tangled limbs amongst discarded clothes I run my fingers over his face.

I cannot imagine my life from before. It feels like some washed out, faded dream.

In losing myself I’ve been found. I’ve woken the woman who was fast asleep.

Moments like these are my nectar, I drink greedily from the cup.

He is mine and I am his, we belong to others too. Fantasies once only in the mind are the wicked games we play at dark.

Wake Me

Wake me. In the middle of the night, fingertips grazing my lips.

Pull me. Deep into your arms as your as I feel your breath on my neck.

Touch me. Lift my shirt, exposing my breasts, watch the goosebumps erupt on my flesh. Move your fingers down my stomach tracing slow and lazy circles as you near my thighs. Peel off my panties, now soaking wet, the scent of my excitement invading your nose. Cup my ass in your strong, inviting hands.

Pull me. Down onto your chest, flesh touching flesh as you wrap me in an embrace.

Say nothing. Take in my kisses, allowing my kisses to fill the silence, speaking volumes across your skin.

Fill me. Place your cock, solid, throbbing and hard inside of me, rocking with me in the lovers lullaby.

Hold me. As I sigh and heave, my heart slowing down as I lay my head on your chest.

Close your eyes. Grabbing my hand in yours, as we drift back into sleep, satiated and content.

Sleep a dreamless sleep. No need for dreaming when your fantasies comes to life.

First Kiss

I was driving down the road the other night at sunset and saw the most brilliant sky. It looked like a painter had taken a brush and thrown shades of pink, purple and orange into the clouds. I looked at that sunset and for the briefest of moments felt like I had caught a glimpse of Heaven painted in the sky for me to admire and view.

It reminded me of a kiss. The first kind. The kind that is filled with promise, imbibed with magic.

When you kiss someone for the first time and there is chemistry, you can feel it in your toes. The world stops for the briefest of moments and the Universe opens wide. You feel electric and completely alive.

The touch of lips together, the inviting seeking of a tongue, when it’s with the right person, it’s an experience like no other.

Chemistry has the same effect on the brain that you get trying a drug. You feel a rush of dopamine and your neurons come alive. Your body responds on a thousand different levels all at once.

A kiss is also a promise. It’s a promise of what is yet to come. When a man grabs your face, looks deep into your eyes and kisses you, you are being told all you need to know without ever hearing a word.

As I drove looking at the sunset, I saw the beautiful scene before me as my eye wandered to the kiss, that first one. A smile made it’s way onto my face as I put my music up and sang along. There is nothing in the world like a first kiss. When you are with the right person, the best part of all is that every time is like the first time and that’s something, like the sunset, that is beautiful to behold.

Leap

They say don’t leap, I jumped feet first.

They say don’t fall, I tumbled to the ground.

They say wait, I moved ahead.

“They” say many things but they aren’t me.

Life is for living and for moments made.

This moment, its our moment. This time, belongs to us.

I smile when I’m with you. Laughing till my face hurts and my stomach aches.

When you touch me I am eletric, a live wire come undone, ready to ignite.

When you kiss me I feel it in my toes. I am an addict, your lips are my drug.

When you fuck me I feel alive. A goddess in the flesh. I am Aphrodite and you are my Zuess. I want to worship at your feet while you kneel at mine.

“They” are wrong or so I think. They aren’t seeing through my eyes or feeling with my heart.

So I say leap. I say let’s  jump. I say don’t overthink, just be.

“They” say it’s a risk. I say your worth it.

Release your wings and leap. Let’s see how far we can fly. Let’s leap and find out just how far we will go.